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ALEX'S BIRTH
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The story of my daughter's birth begins with my own birth.
In 1971, I was the first unmedicated baby to be born in the Glens Falls Hospital in upstate New York. The doctors
and nurses were amazed at how alert I was! My mother showed up at the hospital fully dilated mostly because she
was so drugged up on her own endorphins that she did not know she was in labor. My father and her mother practically
had to drag her to the hospital. By the time the doctor showed up, they were holding her legs together to keep
her from pushing me out. They forced some sort of spinal drug on her that she did not need because she was not
in pain. But it was given so close to my birth that I did not get any of it in my system and my mother yelled at
the doctor when he went to stitch her episiotomy because the drug had not taken effect. I sometimes wish my father
had noticed the contractions too late and I could have been born at home, like my three brothers were. Then my
father could have touched me right away instead of waiting three days before being allowed to hold his own child.
And my mother could have nursed me in peace without the nurses giving her a hard time about it. But the moral of
this story is the way I was raised to think about labor and birth. Like I said, my brothers were born at home very
peacefully and easily. My father even delivered them. I heard the stories of my birth and the births of my brothers
on all our birthdays. I was very much taught that a woman can birth her own babies without fear, doctors, hospitals,
and even without pain.
So, 27 years later when I found myself pregnant for the first time, there was not even a question in my mind as
to how I would be birthing my baby. I knew I would not need drugs and wanted to play a much more informed and in
control role at my first birth than my mother could with me. If I had not been thousands of miles from my family
and if my husband was more comfortable with the idea, I probably would have had her at home. But I do feel that
I had the next best thing - a hospital birth with a very supportive staff. My husband was in the US Air Force and
at first I was worried that the military hospital that I had to give birth at would not be flexible with me. It
turned out I had nothing to worry about. They had CNMs on the staff and even the doctors were pretty progressive
in their attitudes about birth. I was surprised to hear that the epidural rate was 90%, but the midwife said, "these
women seem to like their epidurals", so I knew it wouldn't be a problem for me.
All throughout my pregnancy I read, read, read! I considered myself pretty informed and ready to labor. My husband
and I wrote our birth plan and had the staff read and agree to it. I compromised on two items - I agreed to a baseline
EFM when I got to the hospital and maybe a few more after that, and I agreed to a Heparin lock rather than an IV
as routine. One of the two OBs did not like that we wanted to wait for the cord to stop pulsing, so we just hoped
he would not be on call that night!!
There is so much to tell about the pregnancy, but I will cut to the chase - the birth! On my due date, a Tuesday,
I went for my scheduled appointment and had an internal exam. The midwife had not planned on doing one, but I was
curious to see if the Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having were doing anything. I was 2 cm dilated and
75% effaced. So as far as I was concerned I was already in labor, even if it was only prodromal. A few days earlier
my husband had dreamed that he came home from work on Wednesday and I was in labor, we went to the hospital after
dinner and our daughter was born after midnight that night. Well, since I had already decided that was how it was
going to be, with the full moon coming on Thursday, I woke up Wednesday morning ready to go into labor that day.
I had not finished getting everything ready for the hospital, so I spent the day doing that and cleaning things
I had not had the desire to deal with earlier. I figured this must be nesting!
All day I noticed BH contractions, but did not pay much attention to them. While I was eating a late lunch, I had
one contraction that got my attention. I broke out in a sweat, but would not describe it as painful. So I started
timing them. They were already 10 minutes apart. If I started to do something that demanded my attention, like
sending some emails, they spaced out to 15-20 minutes apart. Around 4:30, I called my husband at work and told
him to head home as soon as he could and bring some dinner. By the time he got home around 5:30, the contractions
were 5 minutes apart and probably lasting 30 seconds. We ate dinner, chicken wings, which I was craving (by the
way I do not recommend this but I'll get to that later). I told my husband I was going to jump in the shower and
he said he wanted to lie down for a little nap. When I got out of the shower I told my husband we had to start
getting ready to go to the hospital. He was surprised because he did not really think anything was happening. I
just felt like it was time to get going, no hurry. I had him start timing the length of the contractions so we
could have something to tell the nurse on duty when I called to tell them we were heading in. They were about 45
seconds long and anywhere from 3 to 6 minutes apart. I felt like the nurse would be mad at me for not leaving earlier,
but she asked me if I was sure I needed to come in, I did not sound like I was in labor. I told her I was sure
and that we would take our time but would be in soon as we only lived 10 minutes away. We left at 8:00.
I had two contractions on the way. We grabbed all the bags and the pan of cinnamon buns I had baked for the staff
and headed in to the hospital. I said to my husband that when we came out we would have our daughter with us. I
was a little disappointed when I walked up to the nurses station and the OB I did not like much was sitting there.
He seemed happy about the cinnamon buns though and I figured that would bribe him to follow the birth plan!! I
got set up in the check in room to have the baseline EFM done and have an internal exam. I was really happy when
my favorite midwife walked in to do the check, as I had not seen her before. She was the one who was on duty and
the OB was just on call!! Yea!! The baby looked good so they let me get up and go to our room, which was a labor
and delivery room.
My contractions were getting a tiny bit more intense, but still not painful. I changed into the hospital gown,
which I put on backwards to facilitate nursing right after birth. We walked the halls a bit and I had the nurse
bring in a rocking chair. I started to get nauseous during contractions and told my husband to get something to
throw up in, just in case. The nurse brought us a tiny little pan and I laughed, there was no way I was going to
use that!! I would have made a big mess! I hate to throw up so I just held on. I was haunted by the chicken wings,
too, and did not want to see them again! I thought that maybe I was in transition and asked the nurse when they
would check me. She said they were following our birth plan and would only do it if I wanted. Since our birth plan
was not that specific I had a feeling they were going out of their way to make this the intervention free birth
I wanted. She asked if I wanted to be checked. I said yes. I moved to the bed and when my midwife came in she checked
me and said I was 9 ½ cm and could push anytime I felt like it. It was 11:15. My husband and our nurse set
up the squat bar for me and we waited for the urge to hit me.
Around midnight I felt it. I did not put very much effort into it though as my body seemed to do its own thing.
Now that I was pushing they checked the baby's heart rate with the Doppler every five minutes, instead of half
hourly as before. It was so nice to be free from those straps!! This was another example of them taking the birth
plan very seriously. At some point I turned around in bed and kneeled and leaned against the back of the bed. Then
my water broke, all over the place!! It was more uncomfortable from then on. I turned back around and when a contraction
would hit they would raise the back of the bed, I would grab the squat bar and half sit half squat to push. The
bottom of the bed was taken away and a mirror brought in so we could watch. I was starting to go into myself at
this point and would just lie there with my eyes closed between contractions, so I did not make very much use of
the mirror.
Part of our birth plan said no yelling at me to push and they were doing wonderfully at that, so much so I asked
for some encouragement. I wanted to know how things were going. My midwife said I was doing fine and as long as
the baby was in the birth canal her head would be molding into shape to be born. As I had not been forcing my body
to work any harder than it wanted to, things were taking a while. There was another woman who came in when I did
who was only at 2 cm but was now catching up to me. My midwife told one of the staff that they might have to wake
up the OB to deliver her. They started to joke that he would freak when he saw I was pushing and did not even have
an IV in. I realized that they had not even done a Heparin lock and was grateful for the vote of confidence.
Sometime around 2:45 I began to want to get her out and see her so I started to use my pelvic muscles to hold her
in place between contractions. She started to move down a lot faster, without slipping back between. I started
to feel a burning stinging sensation and said as much. It was not her head crowning, so the midwife was a little
confused. When her head came out they saw her arm wrapped around her neck. She had her little elbow sticking out
and was tearing me inside. My husband was going to get to catch her but the midwife needed to see if she could
get the arm free. She told me not to push and I yelled, "I can't help it!" and out came my daughter at
3:20! They put her on my belly and she was perfect! The midwife said, "I'm so sorry, Miranda, but you tore".
At that point I couldn't care less! When the cord stopped pulsing, my husband cut it with a knife we had brought
in for just that purpose (he is going to give it to her when she graduates from college telling her he is cutting
the cord again). I put her to my breast and she latched right on. It was the most amazing thing, to have her out
of me, but still so connected. The placenta practically fell out of me right after she was born; I never had to
push it out. After she nursed for a while, they took her to clean her up a bit, put on a diaper and hat and bundle
her in a blanket. Then they left us alone for a while with our new baby girl, Alexandra May. My husbands' parents
were there, so we had them sent in to see their first grandchild. The staff came back to weigh her and such. She
was 7 lbs 4 oz and 19 ½ inches long. Her Daddy then took her to the nursery for her first bath and I tried
to rest. Even though I had been up all night, I was far from sleep. I felt great!!
It is now one year from that wonderful day and Alex is doing extremely well. She is still nursing, has been walking
since her tenth month, and is the joy of our lives! So moved have I been by the experience of birth and motherhood
that I have decided to become a childbirth educator and doula (labor assistant). It has saddened me to see the
way most women in this country deliver their babies, with fear, pain, confusion and ignorance about the effect
medical interventions have on their labors and babies. It is every woman's birthright to have an empowering birth,
whether that includes medically necessary interventions or no interventions at all. I firmly believe that our society
approaches pregnancy, labor, and birth as a sickness. I cannot rest until we embrace the whole process as normal,
healthy and miraculous.
Oh, by the way, my husband has gained so much faith in childbirth that we are planning to have a homebirth with
our next child! My mother would be proud. |
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