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What is the number one reason people give for why you
need to give birth in the hospital with a medical professional present? "Just in case", they say. In
case something goes wrong, in case you need medical assistance that only a hospital can provide, in case something
weird happens and you wouldn't know what to do about it by yourself. I am here to tell you that none of those reasons
are valid and that by giving the responsibility of your birth over to those "professionals" you are endangering
yourself and your unborn child. Not necessarily enough to assure that something
goes wrong, but enough to make you want to think long and hard about where and how you give birth.
I am going to tell you something, and by the time you have read this article and the rest of my website, you will
think I sound like a broken record. No one, NO ONE, knows your body better than you. I don't care how many years
of schooling they have, how many births they have attended, what they have seen and done. Your doctor cannot really
ever know what is going on with you, because s/he is not YOU. Only you know what you feel, only you know what is
best for you. This is true whether you believe it or not. All you need to do is learn to trust your body, your
intuition, your higher power. Another person does not usually have access to this information (psychic mediums
and such aside). All they can do is go by what they have seen in the past and what they were taught. When it comes
down to it, we are all products of our own personal history and we are bound by that, no matter what. What I mean
is that your doctor is going to act, during your birth, based on her past experiences and not so much on what is
going on with you.
If you have a doctor or midwife who has had an experience with a still birth of a baby who had meconium staining,
that is going to color the way s/he reacts to your baby passing meconium, no matter how truly harmless your situation.
You will not be able to convince them that nothing is wrong and your baby is fine. They will carry out whatever
fear-driven measures they know are necessary in this situation and you better hope it does
not mess up your labor or harm your baby. There are even instances of birth attendants acting out of a pattern
that was set during their own births. For example, if during her own birth a midwife was stuck in the birth canal
for a long time and was delivered by forceps, she will become anxious if, during your labor, your baby is taking
a long time to descend. This may lead her to coerce you into pushing when your body does not want you to, or perform
an episiotomy even if she says she does not think they are normally necessary. Watch out for the obstetrician who
was born by caesarian section! This is subconscious, of course, and an example of how a person places themselves,
or is placed, in situations where they can find resolution for a past experience. A person who has issues surrounding
their own birth is often drawn to work in the maternity field, as the frequency of chances to work through their
births is greater than other professions. Do you really want someone with unconscious issues about birth attending
the birth of your child? It is one thing if they have brought these issues to the conscious level, worked through
them, and have been healed. But that is a rare occurrence and most birth attendants who have these issues are motivated
by patterns of which even they are unaware.
If most birth attendants are not going to act in your best interests during your birth, what are your options?
As I see it, you have only one option - you must take full responsibility for the birth of your child. This is
the only way for you to ensure the safety of yourself and the baby. What does taking responsibility for yourself
look like? Well, this is where it is different for each woman. As I've said in my definition of pure birth, I believe it is possible to maintain responsibility in any
birth setting, even in the hospital with an obstetrician. The main difference is in how much work it is for you,
the birthing mother, and your support team. Going into a hospital to birth, while taking on the responsibility
yourself, is a lot of work. This is because the entire system is set up around the idea that you must abdicate
all responsibility to the institution. Nothing is done to allow you control of the situation.
Even the concept of informed consent is a farce. You are never given enough information to actually make a decision
other than the one they want you to make. On the surface this may seem like a good thing. You don't have to think
or worry about anything. Even if the outcome is bad, it is not your fault, you can sue the doctor to compensate
for your loss. Does the irony of this jump out at you yet? It is your birth, your
body, your baby. Nothing can separate you from your responsibility. If you choose to allow someone to
help you, it is still your responsibility, it was ultimately your choice.
Getting back to what taking responsibility looks like. It will be different for each women and, depending on where
you are on your life's path, you may or may not be able to assume complete responsibility. The only obstacle is
fear. If you have done the work to clear yourself of all fears related to birth, prior to giving birth, you will be
able to claim your birth as your own.
The woman who takes full responsibility for her baby's birth is one who understands the basic physiological process
of birth, trusts her intuition or higher power and knows how to heed it, and cannot be swayed, by other's fears,
from her goal of birthing her child in the most gentle and safe manner possible. The setting and attendants don't
matter so much as these characteristics. All that matters is that, in the thick of labor, when there is a question
of what to do next, she turns inward for the answer. And follows her body's direction above all
others'. That is what responsibility looks like.
Women who have reached this space often plan to give birth at home unassisted, without the help of a doctor or
midwife. They know that there is nothing they cannot do themselves to accomplish the birth of their child. The
idea of "just in case" does not apply. Some of them have such a deep and abiding faith in their bodies,
or their creator, that if something were to go wrong, they trust that the answer would be forthcoming. All they
need to do is be able to listen for and heed that direction. It does not matter if they see it as God speaking
to them or more scientific explanations like tapping into the morphic field on a quantum level. It is all the same
thing. The intelligence of the universe is there for us to access in times of need, especially during such sacred
events as the birth of a child. Mother Nature does not grow and nurture a new life in your body, only to fail it
at the crucial moment of birth.
If you don't believe me, spend a little time thinking about the events in your life that seemed to occur serendipitously,
coincidentally, and/or without explanation. And then ponder the idea that there are no coincidences. That everything
happens for a reason. If you look back on all the tough times of your life, you can piece together the lessons
that you gained, the reasons why it had to happen that way. If hindsight is 20/20, why can't we turn to face the
future with trust and faith that it all works out? Learn to see that there is no "just in case" situation
to worry about? |
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